Overcoming Personal Barriers or How I Spent the Winter of 2013-14
It’s been a very harsh winter for most of us. The nightly news reports are full of weather-related disasters and the people dealing with them. Winter in the north always hands out its share of challenges, especially to those who are unprepared for the reality.
I have been away from this blog for a long time. I set it aside temporarily, to publish my first book. I decided to self-publish this tome in every sense of the word. I did everything myself: the artwork, the cover, the formatting, you name it. I had no idea just how hard this would turn out to be…for me, that is. I am a “big picture” kind of person and I hate picky little details. I hate forms of all kinds, and the only thing I hate more than reading instructions is following them. Needless to say, this is a big problem if you want to publish a DIY book. It figures that I am also in the middle of my second Saturn Return. For those of you who don’t speak astrologese it doesn’t matter, you’ll get this because we all go through it; astrology just has a name for it: Saturn. Saturn is the planet that rules reality as we know it. When under Saturn’s influence you have to deal, deal, deal with the set rules of the situation. No skipping steps, no cheat sheets, and definitely, no cutting in line. Not coincidentally, Saturn, and its sign, Capricorn, preside over winter as well.
Wherever we live, there comes a time for all of us, when a certain harsh reality sets in. We are beset with rules we cannot break and duties we cannot shirk whether we want to or not. We feel trapped and for the moment, there doesn’t seem to be an end in sight. It’s hard. There are days I’ve felt like screaming. Ok, I did.
Saturn challenges your authority. Who is the author of your life? You, or something/someone else? Do you have enough knowledge? (For me, the answer was no) Do you have enough fortitude? (Um, maybe that’s all I have) Do you want it enough to pay the price? (I think so) Are you prepared? (Oh, heck no)
How to get through this? “Play the breaks”. If you are relating to this entry, than that is a Plimsouls song worth listening to. “Play the breaks” is also a great expression that asks us to basically, look for the silver lining in the thundercloud over our head. If you’re stuck in a box what is the up side? There must be something good about the situation, though we may have to look really hard to see it. After my initial breakdown, I did discover some perks. After having to learn through some ridiculous trial and error, I learned to focus, to slow down, to work hard, and to have patience. (Ok, still working on that one) I feel I have been tested in the fires of hell but now I have a measurement of how strong I truly am and what I am capable of. Things I couldn’t seem to finish, I have finished. Completion is everywhere in my life, even coming into some of my previously fragmented and frustrating dreams. What a rush to feel your own strength. Though, there is no doubt that this has been torture, I am inhaling my “new and improved” authority in, right through the pain.
As Thomas Paine said: “These are the times that try [wo]men’s souls” and there hasn’t been a lot I could do about it except keep putting one foot in the front of the other and make the most of it until it is over. And it will be over; we all know that, like winter, hard times cannot last.
For those who may be interested, my book, Earth Rise: The Case for Studying and Using Earth in Astrology is out in all electronic reading formats (Kindle and smashwords) and will be out in paperback POD (print-on-demand) through createspace.com, when I get the dang cover issue fixed, hopefully, March of 2014. P.S. Arrugh!